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On the farm we used to try to lead cattle into a pen or field. One cow would break away and others would follow. We would have to put forth the effort again to lead them into the pen or field. One cow might once more break away and run off, for a few or many to follow. The herd mentality was working: one goes, a few go, and all might follow.
John Davis, in The Diamond Approach, expresses how he came to honor his uniqueness. He writes, "I can appreciate the unique terrain of my own life." I like the image of the unique terrain of a person’s life.
Honoring your uniqueness means that you honor and respect your sacred right to be who you are, essentially, and you deny the claim that you must live with a herd mentality. Of course, those who follow the herd might want you to follow the herd, for your living true to your uniqueness would be a contrast to their decision to deny their own God-given particularity.
While I stress the need for cooperation and communication in the context of community, I am certain of another truth: Persons who are best able to benefit community are in touch with and appreciative of their individual uniqueness. These persons do not expect or wish the terrain of their lives to look and feel like that of any other person’s life. They do not want to follow the many simply to have companions, not to be alone. They would prefer being alone to being an imitator at the cost of their unique combination of giftedness. They do not aim to be different out of an immature need to rebel or look different, for their uniqueness is simply a natural, unselfconscious choice to live out an essential, sacred Identity.
These persons who appreciate the uniqueness and vitality of individuality do so with the good of community in mind. They know that they can best love and serve others through who they are. Likewise, they are more likely than others to honor and encourage the living of the uniqueness of other persons.
Jesus honored his individual calling and its possibilities to lead others to freedom of expression for the good of all. Scripture says persons were amazed at his speaking with authority (Matthew 7.28-29). Other teachers would quote the late rabbis in their speeches. Jesus, honoring his innate authority, gift, and calling spoke without quoting the revered authorities of the past. This broke with tradition, in fact, was a slap in the face of how the religious academia said things ought to be done. Jesus was saying, "I am unique. I have a message to give and will speak it from who I am." Jesus was able to speak with authority, for God was working through his unique vocation and particular textured life.
We can be different best without any intent of being different. Being different means appreciating and honoring your particular life as it unfolds moment by moment, and this does not have to be planned in advance. Simply and truly, when being yourself, you can know and enjoy living out of your giftedness, passion, and style of living, giving, and serving.
Spiritual Exercise
1. What are the attributes that make you unique?
2. Whom do you know that lives from his or her uniqueness in serving others?
3. How might your uniqueness be reflected in the following…? The way you prefer to pray? The worship style you most enjoy? The choice of vocation or profession you choose? The ways you enjoy serving others? The music you prefer? ...
4. How might you live more out of your uniqueness?
5. Does your faith community ask persons to “fill roles” or “serve through their gifts and passion for service”? What is the difference between the two approaches?
6. Do you enjoy relationships in which others affirm your uniqueness, your gifts, and your passion for serving?
7. In your faith community are you serving in a way that fits your giftedness? If not, are you willing not to accept any other roles or positions unless they agree with your individual giftedness and passion for service?
8. How might your uniqueness benifit the faith community you serve in and through?
Prayer
Spirit of Christ, there are so many expectations from others, and I can forget that I must listen to my heart and examine the gifts, talents, and desires for service that you have given me for the good of others. Sometimes, I find myself doing things because I think I ought to, rather than doing what I can do best and with the talents you have given me. Give me the courage to say “No,” when I am called to serve where you do not call me to serve. Give me the love to say “Yes,” to serve with the gifts you have given me. May I in no way disrespect or distrust the uniqueness gifted me, nor ever fail to honor the uniqueness of others. Thank you for the diversity of all nature and my participation in that beautiful, enriching variety.
*Brian K. Wilcox
OneLife Ministries is a pastoral outreach and nurture ministry of the First United Methodist Church, Fort Meade, FL. For Spiritual Direction, Pastoral Counseling, spiritual formation workshops, Christian meditation retreats, or more information about OneLife, write Rev. Dr. Brian K. Wilcox at briankwilcox@comcast.net.
Brian's book of mystical love poetry, An Ache for Union, can be ordered through major bookdealers.
Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors
The People of the
United Methodist Church
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